oneperth.com.au | Perth news

CHRIS THOMSON

OPINION: Good on State Parliament’s Public Accounts Committee for highlighting glaring omissions in the planning process for the increasingly contentious Perth Waterfront project.

The committee’s recent Review of selected Western Australian Infrastructure Projects confirms what most waterfront watchers suspected – that the pros and cons of a ‘do nothing’ approach were never weighed up.

In the absence of a truly innovative design emerging, Perth could do worse than do nothing.

Yes, we should scrap the project and leave the tree-lined parks of The Esplanade and foreshore alone.

The great foreshore swindle that’s being pulled here – under the guise of ‘riverfront activation‘ – is that a public park is set to be dug up and replaced by a rectangular lake and private sector skyscrapers.

By way of balance, the committee’s review highlights that the South Bank redevelopments in Melbourne and Brisbane have been great for those cities. If done well, the review says, the Perth waterfront project could similarly benefit the WA capital.

However, the review fails to mention that the Brisbane and Melbourne South Banks were created by demolishing rundown warehouse areas – not by building over precious inner-city parkland as proposed in Perth.

The committee warns that the secrecy of Perth waterfront planners and a lack of public consultation could jeopardise the success of the $2.6 billion project.

The review hints that the middling project now being spruiked by the Barnett Government may not be good enough to fully energise the waterfront.

It’s a stretch to call any skyscraper squat. But the 10 mid-rise cuboids now planned for a rectangular backwater off the Swan appear remarkable only for their unremarkability.

At least the big, Dubai-like tower conjured up in 2008 by now-ousted premier Alan Carpenter had landmark value and a touch of pizzazz.

So, why not leave the rolling front lawn of Perth to sprawl in all its verdant glory a while longer? – (It is perhaps Perth’s most enduring postcard image) – and concentrate on getting the massive Northbridge Link project right.

It’s not like the Link does not require attention – with the adjacent Perth Arena being a shambles from its inception and massive cost blowouts already dogging the Link itself.

Nobody seriously argues that sinking the ugly rail line that splits Northbridge from Perth should not proceed full steam ahead.

Northbridge’s long-occupied position on the wrong side of the tracks mirrors the once-rundown riverfronts of Brisbane and Melbourne more than the picture postcard image of the Swan foreshore ever did.

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CHRIS THOMSON

OPINION: I have two things in common with high-profile AFL convert Karmichael Hunt who booted his first AFL goal to much celebration on the Gold Coast last night.

Like me, Special K was raised in the outer Brisbane suburb of Algester. And like me, as a boy the Kiwi immigrant played his first rugby league game in this country with the mighty Southern Suburbs Magpies.

And there the comparison ends.

For unlike he, I shall never don the hallowed maroon jersey of the greatest rugby league team the world has ever seen – Queensland.

Nor shall I ever get to wind up and dob my inaugural AFL goal from 55-metres out at Carrara Stadium as Hunt did last night.

More disturbingly, I will not see a decent AFL stadium built in my adopted hometown of Perth any time soon that’s the equal of the pictured ground where Hunt launched his prodigious punt.

Why does a holiday town a third the size of Perth and indifferent to AFL have a better footy stadium than the footy-mad WA capital?

I posed this question on Twitter last night, and an instantaneous response hit the nail on the head.

“Maybe their government got off their butt and built one,” fired Todd AKA Perthstorm.

Nilfiskvacuumdr AKA Andy Hawcroft shed further light on the situation.

“Queensland knows what tourism needs, WA only knows about dirty big holes in the ground,” Nilfiskvacuumdr lamented.

It’s hard to disagree with either tweeter.

But also perhaps, Queensland, like Hunt and his punt, is more willing to wind up and go for it.

Me and my mate Snackman were fortunate enough to be at the inaugural Brisbane Bears game at a rudimentary Carrara in 1987 where the only available parking for his Ford Cortina was on an adjacent boggy paddock in the middle of nowhere.

The traffic that clogged the single-lane access road resembled the final scene from A Field of Dreams where a baseball diamond made by a farmer in an Iowa cornfield miraculously attracts his late baseball star father, the Chicago Black Sox and a massive crowd.

Few at Carrara in 1987 knew the rules of the Mexican hatdance unfolding before us. The Bears lost to their eventual merger partners the Fitzroy Lions, and the Cortina got bogged before the long drive back to Brisbane.

But the match signalled the arrival of a new sport that at the peak of the Brisbane Lions’ triple-flag success 15 years later would rival rugby league for popularity north of the border.

As the Field of Dreams farmer was advised by a supenatural voice during the movie: ‘If you build it, he [his late baseballer dad] will come’.

This is often misquoted as: ‘If you build it, they will come’ – which is more convenient for this piece.

Anyhoo, since 2005 Carrara has received its massive makeover, Brisbane’s piecemeal Gabba has morphed into a footballer’s paradise, and the jaded Lang Park cauldron transformed into the world’s best rugby ground.

Over the same period, WA has spent $1.7 million on a major stadia report that now gathers dust while some Subiaco patrons still brave butt-splinters from the remaining wooden benches.

After five years of dithering, in 2008 the then Labor government accepted one of the report’s recommendations to demolish Subi and build the new stadium next door at Kitchener Park.

This would have seen a world-class footy and cricket stadium built in Perth by 2016.

However, after Labor was ousted, new premier Colin Barnett scrapped the Subiaco plans and has only recently announced a tentative preference for a stadium at Burswood.

This is paralysis by analysis and way too risk-averse for a state whose two AFL teams would have no trouble filling the stadium regularly.

A word of advice from the Twitter community, Mr Barnett:

Take a leaf from the Book of Karmichael and JUST DO IT.

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CHRIS THOMSON

OPINION: As the WA government fumbles over which local authorities to merge, the councils under the microscope should be checking the use-by stamp on Western Australia itself.

The state’s tortuous council ‘reform’ process, ‘steered’ by Local Government Minister John Castrilli has spluttered along for two years – with little to show for having bumped our cities, shires and towns from the driver’s seat.

Now, in the same way the operations of our councils have been investigated, the continued relevance of Western Australia – indeed of all the Australian states – must be probed.

The states are an arcane construct of the late nineteenth century, enshrined in the Australian Constitution when the nation was federated 110 years ago.

Inflicted upon Australia more out of parochial expediency than any rationality were two unwieldy tiers of government.

Local government became the third tier – but 11 decades on, the Constitution still dare not speak its name.

And with good reason in WA – the last state to embark on local government reform and home to 139 councils which is at least two-thirds too many.

In a smarter Australia, we would have no states and no local councils, but regional governments that deal direct on one hand with their citizens and on the other with the federal government.

The regions would assume most responsibilities of the current states and local councils.

In one fell swoop this would rid the nation of a useless layer of bureaucracy, improving consistency of decision-making while ensuring regional diversity.

Similar systems work in England and New Zealand.

Sure, these nations have much smaller land masses than Australia, but then tyranny of distance is not what it used to be.

It happens that the Feds, through Regional Development Australia, have already drafted a map of what the new order would look like:

The map sees everything west of South Australia not as some monolithic Constitutional dinosaur, but as nine good-sized regions each competing on its unique strengths and responding to its particular challenges.

The only change I would suggest would be to roll the Peel region into Perth – cutting the number of fiefdoms to eight and recognising Mandurah’s emergence as the southern part of the world’s most isolated metropolis.

Of course the map is self-serving for the Feds who would love to divide the states and conquer the nation.

This is where a whole new Constitution – with the nine Westralian regions and the Feds as signatories – would need to guard against insidious power creep to Canberra.

The rub is that the existing state of Western Australia would need to surrender its Constitutional birthright so a new deal could be brokered between the Feds and the regions.

A far-sighted state premier or governor could help broker the agreement to do themselves out of a job. The selfless act would earn them a legacy and admiration beyond their wildest dreams.

You may say I’m a dreamer.

But the map’s very existence shows I’m not the only one.

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CHRIS THOMSON

OPINION: Perth Football Club has sold the naming rights of Lathlain Park to dairy company Brownes without approval from the ground’s owner.

The Town of Victoria Park owns Lathlain Park, The Demons’ home ground since 1959.

News of the club’s naming rights deal was published on the West Australian Football League website on February 25 – just one day after The Demons lodged an application for the council to approve the rebrand.

When the town’s councillors next meet on Tuesday, I urge them to refuse The Demons’ application.

The footy club has treated the town council – and by extension the local community – as a rubber stamp.

SELLOUT

It can now be revealed that The Demons sold the naming rights to Brownes for $75,000 a year.

The town has asked the club to conduct a Strength, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats (SWOT) analysis of the planned rebrand.

In response, The Demons have lodged nine strengths and opportunities.

By contrast, the following ‘analysis’ of weaknesses and threats was provided:

1. No identified weaknesses and threats at this point.

Come on, Demons!

Your application must be ruled out of bounds simply for playing the local community for fools.

A basic review of your plans throws up one fundamental weakness – you are selling the soul of a ground that you don’t even own.

Lathlain Park is owned by the community and used by other sports – none of which will receive a brass razoo from your rebrand.

In a separate submission to the council, you acknowledge the ground’s ‘iconic’ status.

This means Lathlain Park is a landmark.

As with all of society’s institutions, the names of landmarks should not be changed lightly.

HANDOUTS

Demons, you recently asked the town to cover the cost of maintaining your playing surface.

You also received a $25,000 increase in your annual handout from the town.

So the town has every right to cast a critical eye over your plans, and dismiss them at least until a proper SWOT is conducted.

Seen in isolation, your rebrand is not such a big deal, Demons.

Lathlain Park is hardly a household name, and you already sold out in 2003 by hocking the ground’s moniker to broadband company Eftel.

Bassendean Oval, Leederville Oval and the hallowed home of football at Subiaco have also been slapped with corporate rebrands in recent years.

But there lies the rub.

Corporate branding of Perth’s public parks is spreading like cancer.

Football grounds are among Perth’s most recognisable landmarks. The historic ones in particular add character, legibility and authenticity to our city.

Renaming them every few years, such as at Perth Oval, AKA Members Equity Stadium, AKA ME Bank Stadium, AKA nib Stadium screws with people’s heads.

Recently the City of Subiaco rightfully opposed the WAFL’s rebrand of WA’s most famous stadium and asked WA’s Heritage Council to comment on the Patersons Stadium rebrand debacle.

In a limp response, the Heritage Council gave the go-ahead as long as the words ‘Subiaco Oval’ remained on one historic set of ground gates.

As at Perth and Bassendean ovals before it, lettering on a solitary set of gates will be the only reminder of the parks’ original name.

COP-OUT

This is a cop-out by the Heritage Council which is supposed to protect WA’s landmarks.

Stripping the original names from stadiums rips out their heart.

Bit by bit it hits at our heritage, messing with our language. The Nyoongar people know from bitter experience this is the most insidious form of cultural tampering.

Stadiums across the nation are becoming corporatised.

Many footy fans have given up trying to figure out whose home grounds the names Suncorp, Skilled and Etihad represent.

Even if it means footy clubs lose much-needed corporate sponsorships, WA should not just go with the flow on this one.

The very identity of our cities is at stake. What next, the BHP Bell Tower, Swan Lager River, Burger King’s Park?

Footy clubs have long demanded poker machines be introduced to top up their coffers, and the state government has steadfastly refused.

Through the Heritage Council, the government must take an equally principled stand and step in to stop the spiritual destruction of our sporting landmarks.

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